Entering Into Grace
The Light of Awareness
Prema Jyothi offers suggestions as to how to address many main issues that arise on a spiritual seeker’s journey to awakening to their essential nature. It presents some fascinating depth of the Indian spiritual tradition and in particular the Himalayan Vedantic tradition,
Grace comes to us in many forms and from many directions. Often, we don’t recognise it as Grace until we have been through an experience wherein we know that we have been graced. But Grace is not only inevitable within everything that we experience, but it is also inexorable in that it will not cease until we find the place in our heart where we can surrender.
In his book, Falling into Grace, the Zen teacher Adyashanti expounds the value of unknowing - letting go of the need to know. Grace is not always what we think it ought to be. Can we meet life on a different level where we open ourselves to the grace of the moment, the grace of the situation that presents itself? In a sense, that is what is required of us, but is often the most difficult state for us to enter into. How is it that we can allow ourselves to open the heart to Grace?
Whispers of Love
Arise within the heart’s own space
The silent conversation
Has no theme
No boundaries exist there
For losing is the ultimate
Container
There is a phrase that was coined by country singer Emmylou Harris - Stumble into Grace. This is very often what we do. We live our lives unconsciously so much of the time. But something happens to shift us back into awareness. In a sense we stumble into that state unconsciously. Grace has no prerequisites and can occur spontaneously in endless ways.
I recall an instance of grace that came upon me without warning. It was 1979. In those times I used to regularly come out to Karekare to attend full moon meditations with a group of people. I used to come and go along the steep road that leads down to the beach in a very heavy Vauxhall Velox V6. I wasn’t always good at maintaining this car, but it seemed to drive itself quite well. One night, after the meditation, I was taking two other guys back to Auckland City, ascending up the steep, narrow road. and talking away as we drove. Suddenly the car stalled. “No problem”, I thought, “it will start again like it always has”. But it didn’t start. Despite my best efforts I could not get the engine to turn over enough to start. We were half way up the winding road. Then, to my horror the foot brake failed and we started rolling backward! I frantically pulled on the handbrake. No effect. The car kept heading straight back down the road towards the bend, beyond which was a steep slope covered in forest. We were well up the way along Karekare Road, which meant there was a drop of hundreds of metres, straight down to the valley. What to do?
Panic took over the mind and I was acutely aware that I had a duty to keep my fellow passengers alive. This awareness arose unbidden within the mind, and it was the only thought. Somehow, I didn’t think of the possibility that I would perish, but I was concerned for the other two guys. (Strange the twists and turns of the mind.) There was no thought of Sai or God, or anything else. I slammed the car into second gear, somehow hoping that it would stop. It didn’t. Instead it turned towards the precipitous slope into the valley below.
Then the back wheels of the car went to go over the edge. The car was at a dangerous angle with its rear pointing down the precipice! A heavy car that, once it was in motion would simply continue to roll backward and, by this time, it was moving at a fair pace.
Suddenly the car came to an abrupt halt. It simply stopped dead with its back wheels perched on a narrow ledge! It was only then that I breathed out “Sai Ram”. Instantly, I felt Sai’s Grace with me. During the crisis, I was not conscious of Him at all. I did not call out to him, so absorbed as I was in the panic of the situation. When we got out of the car, we found that it had been stopped from its doom by a small flax bush!
But Grace still answered our unspoken, unthought prayer. In a sense, I fell into Grace, literally and metaphorically. Grace came unbidden. I cannot determine a reason. I will never know why. I only know that it was His Grace that placed the bush in our path, and His Grace that allowed that small plant to stop the heavy car on its deadly journey down into the valley, hundreds of metres below.
How can we make sense of such Grace? It is impossible. We can only open to the infinite Love that creates such miracles.
All the pieces gather
Falling into place
Falling into Grace
-Satyavan
GRACE AND GAYATRI
Grace is always present in our lives, but makes that presence known in myriad ways, especially in support of our spiritual unfoldment. Grace transformed my life from being a seeker, into coming to the end of seeking by the grace of a spiritual Master. Through grace, I recognized my spiritual master as my Beloved from eternity. The journey into the heart of love had come through grace.
-Savitri
My first taste of spiritual bliss
The first time I made contact with Sathya Sai Baba was in a powerful dream. In the dream I caught a glimpse of Him, standing on a stage with thousands of people around. With a waving of his hand, he dismissed all but a small handful of people around where I was standing. He then turned and looked into my eyes. I stared at Him, and it was as if I was looking into the centre of the whole universe. My whole body dissolved into a vortex of bliss, and I was drawn up towards the skies through this maelstrom of love. For many days after, my whole body was permeated with this bliss. This was my first experience of His Grace.
-Savitri
The Journey Begins
Pilgrimages to India have been pivotal in my own path and were always facilitated by Grace. Following my powerful dream, I contacted the Sai organisation and was informed there was a group trip to his ashram later in the year. At the time I was completing a master’s thesis on consciousness and working as a massage therapist to support my study. I had an Indian client and, one time, in order to make conversation, I told him of the trip, asking where in India he was from, thinking perhaps it was close to Sai’s abode. The following week when he came back for his appointment, he shocked me with an offer, “I am sure you would love to go on that trip but would not be able to afford it due to being a student, so here…” and he pulled a wad of notes from his back pocket totalling $600. “Don’t worry, I will let you pay it off with treatments,” he said. He had no way of knowing it was one day before a $600 deposit was due if you were to join the group pilgrimage!
However, grateful as I was to receive this offer, I still did not have enough money to go on this journey. I needed extra for the ticket as well as expenses whilst in India. As the time drew closer, I realised I had two choices, postpone my master’s and work to get sufficient money together, or work full time to complete my paper by the end of the year, which meant I would have to cancel the trip. I rang the organiser to let her know. Grace entered the situation again. I was blown away when she said, “Do not worry. We have a free ticket for the group booking, and we will gift half of it to you”.
In this way the Grace of my Beloved Guru found me and drew me to Him. The work of spiritual unfoldment began in earnest.
-Savitri
May we all be graced with that Supreme Love.
-Satyavan
Indian bureaucracy is no match for Grace
From then on, I journeyed often to India, with my family and also on my own. Perhaps the most important part in my annual journeys to India were the times I spent alone in a cave, high in the Himalayas, above the source of the river Ganga. This place – Tapovan - is permeated with the energies of the sages and great yogis who have meditated there over thousands of years. Tapovan is situated with the Gangotri National Park and visitor to the park are required to get permits (similar to national parks in New Zealand). I was unable to get a permit to go there, so it became my habit to leave early in the morning and pass the check post in the dark while it was closed and come back through late in the evening. Thus, I was able to escape attention. However, after many years, the officials got tough. They instigated a US $10,000 fine and a possible 2 years in prison if people were found flouting the regulations! Because of this I reappraised what was the right thing to do and I decided there was no option but to go through the check post legitimately.
The year that I made this resolution, I arrived at the check post with my porter and all my supplies determined to get through by going through the proper process. However, I was refused entry. Inside, I could feel the call of the Divine strongly to trek to Tapovan, and the yearning in my heart matched this call. What to do? Sitting beside the trail, I pondered and it came to me to chant the Gayatri mantra. (The Gayatri is a powerful mantra that protects and overcomes obstacles.). Whilst I was chanting the staff at the check-post kept insisting that they would not let me through. They obviously did not know what to do with me – a western woman adamantly seated by the trail chanting the most sacred mantra in India! It must have made them reappraise the situation as, after some time, an official came up and said he would get his superior to come and decide what to do with me. He also reiterated what the other staff had said and was firm in his belief that it was impossible for me to go through. The porter anxiously started pulling my sleeve, “Mam, we have to go down.” But I could feel the cave’s energy reaching out to me, and I resolutely continued to chant Gayatri Mantra. Two hours passed as I walked back and forth chanting. The official again came again and informed me they had just been advised that the head of the national parks for the whole of India was coming shortly on a visit. They informed me that it was him who would make the final decision.
The park head’s party duly arrived in gay procession. The officials were riding eight horses, dressed in green, gold and white satin, all holding large flags. Everyone was in a jolly mood, seemingly very happy to be in the mountains. The check-post official approached the boss, explaining my situation, and asked him to confirm that I was not to allowed to pass through. The head seemed to be in such a happy mood. He turned to his retinue and announced, “Of course she can!”
This announcement filled me with such joy and gratitude for the demonstrable power of grace. I grabbed my pack and set off through the gate at breakneck speed. It was as though I had wings as I soared up the trail, through those rocky heights, gliding without any effort!
-Savitri
“This fiery heart
The burning bridges
Set alight to mark
The journey’s mystery
It is the inner grace
That makes our lives”
Graceful – Satyavan
When we leave behind the mind-conceived limits of our lives, we discover there is a deep intelligence guiding us and supporting us to reach beyond our dreams to the limitless Divine. The instrument of the Divine is Grace. Such Grace will always support the spiritual unfolding arising within us to shape the outer circumstance according to our spiritual need.
- Savitri
GRACE AND BAKED BEANS
By Lyn Kriegler
“Grace is proportional to effort. Try to win Grace by reforming your habits, reducing your desires and refining your higher nature. One step makes the next step easier; that is the excellence of the spiritual journey. With each step your strength and confidence increase and you get bigger and bigger installments of Grace.”
- Sathya Sai Baba
It is December 1989. For the first time I am visiting Sathya Sai Baba's beautiful ashram, Prashanti Nilayam, ‘The Abode of the Highest Peace’. This ashram is situated in a picturesque, remote rural hamlet deep in the wilderness of Andhra Pradesh, Southern India. Since first hearing about this extraordinary Being from a British book rep in 1974, and being given a book by Sathya Sai Baba, Gita Vahini, it has taken me fifteen years to make this first journey to see Him. I'm very elated, very excited, and to be honest, a little bit nervous. Well, I’ve never met a Divine Being before, and there's no book of rules on how to respond or react to one. I soon learn that nearly everyone calls Sathya Sai Baba “Swami”, so I'm a bit confused. (Swami is an affectionate term for “teacher, guru, spiritual guide.”) Ok - Check.
But India … India! I'm decidedly super-thrilled by the brilliant colours, the sounds, the smells, the utter chaos, the magical unpredictability, of India. I enter into ashram life with a measure of excitement, laced with just a measure of apprehension. After all, I really don’t know what to expect. Why am I here? I'm surrounded daily by hundreds of thousands of visitors from all over the world. I've never seen Himalayan sadhus before, or Ecuadorians, or Trinidadians or Russians, Lithuanians, Croatians, Argentinians, Latvians, Hebrews, Sufis, Parsees, Shiva worshippers, tribals, yogis, Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhist monks from Thailand, African Catholic priests, Jewish rabbis = even, of all things, a couple of Presbyterian ministers from New Zealand.
I’m happy to just blend in, going to all the morning and afternoon devotional activities, with my spare time overly devoted to shopping trips in the village of Puttaparthi, right outside the ashram gates. OMG, It’s a shoppers’ paradise! Tribal jewelry, ethnic caftans, scarves, purses, shawls and sarees, Kashmiri carpets, sandalwood carvings of every god and goddess imaginable, inlaid bangles, exotic earrings, spiritual books, gleaming brassware, local souvenirs, cool tee shirts, sandal shops, incense, street food, even snake charmers and contortionists—it was dizzying; and tempting.
I found myself sitting inside ashram temple grounds during darshan (sight of a holy being), waiting for Sathya Sai Baba to appear and gracefully glide amongst the crowd. All the while my shopping-mad monkey mind was busy making gift lists of presents to buy for friends and family back home. And when it wasn’t busy creating multifarious desires for gift-buying and giving, my mind was busy conjuring up something else - baked beans. Baked beans on toast, hot, steaming, comforting baked beans!
Now baked beans were not to be found in Puttaparthi. And certainly not in the ashram canteen, which in those days only served hot, super-spicy, South Indian food. (Things are different now in 2023, with a much wider range of meals and foodstuffs widely available).
I had tried my best to adapt. But the South Indian chillies and spices were in a master class all their own. After three days of gamely swallowing: chili-spiked upma(a kind of breakfast porridge of semolina, laced with spices and chillies) for breakfast; spicy dal and scorching vegetable curries for lunch; vadas (a spicy deep-fried Indian donut) for snacks; sambar (a spicy side dish, a thin soup for dipping breads, etc.); chutneys, local pickles, rice and achars (a spicy side dish, consisting of a thin soup for dipping breads, etc.) for dinner, my insides were in a raging state of fierce rebellion. Spectacular gaseous emissions and frantic trips to the bathroom were becoming all too much for my tender Western plumbing. I felt I needed something like a high-speed fire extinguisher blasting through my intestines. Pretty soon my thoughts were straying to… bland food; western food. comfort food; mac & cheese; scrambled eggs; mashed potatoes with butter, cream and parsley; chocolate pudding; green salad and - baked beans on buttered toast.
Ah, baked beans on toast. What I wouldn’t give for a steaming plate of….baked beans.
Well, in those days there simply were no canned goods to buy, especially not in the minute shopping stand inside the ashram where frantic Westerners queued nightly in hopes of buying: toilet paper; chewing gum; chocolate bars; peanut candy; cans of soft drink; potato chips; laundry powder; and ballpoint pens. No canned goods in the village shops, which carried mostly: fresh spices; mountains of dark red and black chillies; groundnut and mustard oils; dried lentils; potatoes; sacks of rice; coconuts and more super-spicy snacks. Pretty soon my longing for baked beans had morphed from a desire into an obsession. What had I come here for, anyway? Witness miracles? Learn spiritual practices; do yoga; meditate; chant mantras; fiddle with prayer beads; contemplate my navel; find enlightenment, whatever that was? I feel utterly lost, my stomach and my taste buds relentlessly rule my days.
One morning, after darshan, I’m ambling disconsolately back to my room when I feel a firm hand grip my shoulder.
“Are you the children’s book illustrator from New Zealand?” A booming Aussie-woman's voice. It’s Valmai W., the formidable National Service Coordinator for the Australian Sai Organisation. “Umm, yes, that’s me.”
“Good, now come along”, she orders. “There’s someone who wants to meet you, she’s heard about you, she needs your help, you're the perfect one for the job.”
“Grace is showered on those who seek. Knock and the door shall be opened to you; ask, and food will be served; search, and the treasure will be yours. The grace of God cannot be won through the gymnasium of reason, the contortions of yoga or the denials of ascetism (severe self-discipline, avoiding all forms of indulgence, typically for spiritual reasons). Love alone can win Grace.”
-Sathya Sai
I obediently follow Valmai. I don’t even think of resisting. Valmai is six feet tall, resplendent in a majestic sapphire blue and gold saree, an eye-popping diamond ring, and a profile like a Byzantine empress.
I find myself being ushered into a private ashram apartment. A slightly-built, middle-aged, gracious Indian lady, Godavari, Mrs P., is sitting at a makeshift drawing board, cutting and pasting bits of paper and painstakingly crafting little handmade books. She is hand-lettering Swami’s sweet little sayings for children. I find that Godavari is a gifted calligrapher.
Short story: Godavari needs drawings of children: children having their meals; children doing food prayers; children kneeling by their beds saying morning or evening prayers; children taking care of animals and feeding wild birds; children helping mums and dads; children singing; children playing; children sleeping and dreaming sweet dreams. Can I do some illustrations? Of course I can.
I set to work, delighted to be back in my element. Time ticks by, we are so engrossed in the work. Before we know it, it's lunchtime. Godavari offers me some plain buttered roti, a comforting cup of milk tea, some Indian coconut fudge, and a couple of English biscuits. I gratefully gobble the lot. She asks me if I will come again tomorrow after morning darshan. Of course I will. I'm more than happy to help.
Next morning during darshan, Swami glides over to where I sit. I'm trying as always to get comfortable on the hard marble floor not being much used to sitting cross-legged, and nowhere near able to sit in the lotus position. Sitting for several hours in darshan is a real test for me. I have a thin horsehair-stuffed, flat Indian cushion which doesn’t help much and, as usual, my stomach is rumbling. I'm ashamed to say I've been dreaming of, you guessed it, baked beans. Swami pauses right in front of me. Gazes into my eyes with a quizzical look and a sweet smile. I smile back hopefully.
He's so beautiful, so ethereal. He seems to glow with golden light. He has the kindest eyes. He has an artist’s hands, a musician’s hands, so sculptural, so beautifully formed ….
For a change, after darshan I'm feeling a bit lighter. I head over to Godavari’ s apartment. She's all ready for me and we pass several hours contentedly working away. All too soon it’s noon. I get up to go for lunch in the canteen.
Oh, Leen! Today you take lunch here. I have made it all very nicely for you.
My heart sinks. Indian food. Uh oh.
I try excusing myself, but Godavari won't hear of it.
Specially for you I make!
She bustles into her tiny kitchen. I hear the rattle of plates, the hiss of the kettle for tea.
She comes out with a tray and a covered stainless steel soup tureen. She sets it down in front of me. Lifts the lid. And there right before me is a mountain of baked beans. Hot, steaming, yummy baked beans. She has put a little frill of fresh coriander leaves on top as a garnish. I burst into tears.
ME: Bub..bub.. bub..baked BEANS!
G: Oh, Leen! You do not like?
ME: Oh, my God. I LOVE baked beans.
In-between mouthfuls, I explain the whole story. Godavari starts laughing, just like a young girl.
G: Oh, that is Swami! He knows everything.
Me: But what gave you the idea to make baked beans? And for that matter, where did you get these baked beans?
G: (chuckling) This morning I am in the kitchen, talking to Swami in my heart. You know, some people call it the Voice Within, or the intuition, or simply, the conscience. I am telling, I am going to make green banana curry for Lyn. But Swami is telling, no, no. Reach into the back of your cupboard. I do this, and there I find two cans of baked beans. Some Australians brought them for me last year. But my husband and I do not eat baked beans. I had forgotten all about them. But I heard Swami saying in my heart, “She likes baked beans".
Readers, a funny thing happened after that. Godavari made lunch for me every day after that, and she made the most delicious, bland foods, exactly what I needed. My insides recovered, and I slowly found I was no longer thinking of food, and desires, all the time. I no longer wasted time thinking of all the things I wanted to buy. I learned from Godavari, with Swami directing everything behind the scenes, little by little, to calm my chattering mind and listen—listen to the Inner Voice.
All this Cosmos is part of Him, it is in Him. He is the Inner Motivation and He is present in all. He dwells in your heart as the Voice Within, the Spark, the Seed of Immortal Life. We call this our soul, our spirit, our conscience, our intuition. Grace is won through devotion. “You are my all, O my God of Gods. You are my refuge; you are my only Master.” This is the attitude one must develop and make one's own.
Om Sai Ram
Lyn Kriegler
“Divine Grace flows without effort, without reason, without purpose and action.”
- Sri Brahman
GRACE IN NATURE AND THE NATURE OF GRACE
“When you travel, a new silence goes with you and if you listen, you will hear what your heart would love to say.” John O’Donahue, Celtic Philosopher
Grace in Nature
When we walk in the natural world, there is a something that touches our hearts in a special way. Nature has its own way of blessing, and each one receives that blessing in their own special way. St Augustine, the 4th century philosopher bishop, turned his back on the concept of humanity bearing the consequences of ‘original sin’, a common teaching of the Christian church at the time (still believed by many today), and propounded the notion that our original state of grace is always with us. However, in the modern world there is little value placed on what lies within - the experience of the fundamental worth and value of that grace. Instead, it is deeds and acquisitions that are given the highest priority.
When we venture into nature, we have the opportunity come back to a simplicity that allows us to experience nature’s own grace. We talk often of the beauty in nature. Everyone appreciates a glorious sunset, the mystery of a waterfall or a silent pool, the magnificence of a lofty mountain, or the wide, wild expansiveness of a mighty ocean. Embedded within these experiences is an inherent grace that touches our heart. The Māori word whakamānawa indicates that an experience has touched our hearts. To be more precise something has caused our heart to feel warmth, to open. This is the grace of nature.
Whilst walking in nature, have you ever noticed that others who you greet nearly always smile and are friendly? Why is this? Potentially. this phenomenon arises from hearts touched by nature. Nature brings us back to the heart, wherein our common humanity, our commonality, shines forth. Surely this is the great and gracious gift from nature. The Grace of Nature.
The Nature of Grace
What is the nature of the grace we experience when we walk the spiritual path? Grace often arises when we least expect it. Sometimes it is a dramatic instance. (Witness the story on the header page of the runaway car.) Sometimes it is a silent, small grace, such as an epiphany moment when we open to something from deep inside. It may be a look from a master, or a simple kind act – so many forms of grace come in our lives. Grace has no laws or rules. It comes, uninvited or invited, to the heart that has given itself over in surrender to Truth and to Love. In a sense, grace is undefinable. It has no form or method. The only surety is that, when you are recipient of an act of grace, there is a shifting of the heart into a space where we realise that we are Love.
“Aaravindha, when the last obstruction to the truth of our existence falls, there is but one power that remains – the power of Supreme Love. There is, in and beyond all the fictions of our corporeal mind and its methods, a grace that prepares the living through its unfolding. Inevitably, that grace will bring forth the birth of truth.”
Master Amir speaking to Aaravidha, from the book Immortal Self by Aaravindha Himadra
May we all be graced with that Supreme Love.
Satyavan
