Prema Jyothi - February 2024

Loving Ourselves – Opening To The One We Really Are

In order to experience love at the deepest level of our being it is useful to gain a deeper understanding of self‐love, the yogic perspective of love, and how we can experience this dimension in our personal life. The practice of self-love looks nothing like narcissism. It has nothing to do with posing for ‘selfies’ on Instagram, talking of self-love, all the while looking for outward validation through compliments or ‘likes’. We live in a culture which fosters self-hatred, by influencing us to feel that we have to be beautiful or successful, lose weight, fulfil some-one else’s expectations or be popular etc in order to be loveable. But to truly experience self-love we must first discover our true Self. We need to come home to ourselves, to our base state of beingness otherwise we will be always searching outside for what we already have inside. The yogic path tells us to go within. It is here we have everything for our happiness.

We all have stories about love and not being loved. To truly live from a place of love we need to transcend these stories, to detect when we are indulging in negative feelings, thoughts and emotions. We need to go beyond the narrative of the mind, to observe ourselves wisely and learn to switch our state and become tuned with the vibrational frequency of the heart. Love is something we embody, not something we do to ourselves. The breathwork and kriya techniques in Yoga can be a tremendous help. We need to commit to go to a deeper state of being with ourselves, go deeper into our hearts and accept everything is okay just as it is. From an evolutionary perspective nothing is more important than connecting with Self.

- Savitri

SELF LOVE IS A JOURNEY

So often in life we strive for an ideal – to gain something or to be someone. There are many sources of advice on how to gain self-love. The internet and books are constantly telling us how we can love ourselves and be happy. There are many suggestions of methods to practise which are shared in order to take us to a place where we can love ourselves. They all sound good in theory but is it that simple?

The answer is, of course, that life is never simple, especially when it involves the mind and our thoughts. Much of the advice given is centred on the mind. In my personal journey, I have struggled with loving myself. I still do. I can practise all sorts of methods. I can meditate and attempt to calm the mind. The negative thoughts about myself still arise.

Perhaps the answer lies not in seeing self-love as a goal, as a state to be reached or experienced. Rather, it could be that attaining a state where we can love ourselves fully can be realised through a process of letting go of the perception of ourselves as separate. When feel we are separate, we reach for something outside of ourselves. If we begin to identify with that which is already there within - being awareness and bliss, the perturbations of the mind, whether it loves itself or not, begin to impact much less on the truth of being.

It is possible that attempting to love oneself through the mind or behaviours, is a limited exercise. There is a spiritual discipline that involves becoming the witness of the mind. When we watch the mind, we begin to identify less and less with the thought patterns, and more and more with the one who is witnessing the thoughts. Sai Baba states it beautifully when He exhorts us to follow the acronym – WATCH.

WATCH means:

W – Watch your Words

A – Watch your Actions

T – Watch your Thoughts

C – Watch your Character

H – Watch your Heart

The watcher is the witness. When we witness something, we are observing, but not interacting. So it is with the negative thoughts about ourselves that arise. We may practise all kinds of psychological methodologies, such as: prioritising our own well-being, practising having compassion for ourselves; not comparing ourselves with others, setting boundaries; forgiving ourselves; changing our mindset, etc. – all good advice. However, these practices, beneficial as they are on a mental/emotional level, will always fall short of the task of freeing ourselves from the grip of the mind and thought. Whilst a positive thought (sattwic thought) is better than a negative thought (tamasic thought) or an agitated thought (rajasic thought), it is still thought. When we begin to witness these thoughts and feelings, we realise that our reality is greater than these limited concepts of ourself. In fact, bizarre as it may sound, we may have awakening states whilst thought still arises.

It is important to recognise that it is mind that created (and still creates) this universe and all that is contained within it. Whilst we exist in a body/mind complex, we will have thoughts, both ‘positive’ and ‘negative’. The great rishis were not immune from anger, lust, despair or pride. Their actions and words (passed down to us through the wonderful Puranic stories) illustrate this fact beautifully. The key is that they observed the drama, knowing that this is all part of the play of the Divine within creation. In other words, they were not identified with the physical, mental or emotional aspects of themselves. This is the paradox of their lives.

Self-Love is more than a practice, it is a way of being, of knowing who we really are – that is Love itself. Being the witness opens the possibility of that Love that we are shining through, despite the play of the mind, despite the drama of the world. “Life is a game – play it”, says Sai. As we journey though life, the witness Self is always there.

- Satyavan

The Light Within

“What’s infinity?”

I am guest writer/illustrator at an Auckland primary school's Book Week.

The little blond, blue-eyed girl interrupts me, frowning. I have been retelling “Spiderwoman"-- a Native American Indian tale about a magical woman who has never been born and will never die. Somewhere in the telling I said “Spiderwoman gazed out at the moonlit night. Infinity was in her starry eyes.” Most of the class was spellbound by the rhythmic chanting “Spiiiiii-der-woman “, punctuating my oral tale. But I had unwittingly hit a snag with Isabel.

“What’s infinity?”

Isabel is eight years old.

I take a deep breath. “Infinity...is...forever and ever. Infinity is the sun and the moon and the stars. And space. And everything good and shiny inside you. Forever and ever and all over again.”

She brightens. “Oh, ok. Like Christmas! “

Someone else in the class yells “Yeah! Merry Christmas!”

Everybody laughs. Me included.

Finite means limited. We are unlimited infinity, but many are only aware of their limited individuality. If you want to attain infinity, you need to enquire into the divinity that is inherent in you. Each human being is composed of the two...personality and identity. Personality includes your likes and dislikes, the clothes you wear, your little quirks and habits, the way you smile and frown, the jokes that make you laugh, the jokes and stories you tell, the foods you like, your likeability, your not-so-pleasant traits and tendencies. all aspects of the outer self, the self you think you are, the self others think you are. So what is identity? That which you really are. Who is that? Clue Number One: the light that shines in your eyes. What is that light reflecting?

Over ten thousand years ago, a realised sage in ancient India penned a particular work called an Upanishad. The Upanishads were received telepathically in meditation during an age when divine knowledge was transmitted through sound. Book Eight of the Chandogya Upanishad describes the light within the spiritual heart, an atomic sized, perfect vacuum, light-filled cavity that is situated behind the fourth chamber of the physical heart. Some people might call it soul, spirit, the True Self, The Unfed Flame, The Golden Bowl, The Heart Lotus...it has gone by many names throughout history. The ancient text reads:

In this body, this Town of Spirit, there is a little house shaped like a lotus, and in that house is a little space. One should know what is there. What is there? Why is it so important? There is as much in that little space within the heart, as there is in the whole world outside. Heaven, earth, fire, wind, sun, moon, lightning, stars: whatever is and is not, everything is there. What lies in that space does not decay when the body decays; nor does it fall when the body falls. That space is the Home of Spirit. Every desire is there. True Self is there, beyond decay and death; grief and sorrow, hunger and thirst.

You see the sparkle in your eye, in the eyes of others? It isn't reflecting the sun, the moon, the overhead light. It is reflecting the light of the spiritual heart. That’s why it's said, the eyes are the windows to the soul. The eyes of those who have passed do not reflect light. That light has travelled beyond this world into another.

Learn to access the spiritual heart and expand the light within it. This is infinity, this is inner peace, this is Love. It’s the only Love worth having.

Lyn Kriegler

Satyavan July 2023

What is self-love?

Theres a lot of talk these days about self-love. It sounds great, but what does it actually mean? How do we love ourselves and why does it matter?

Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.

Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but also your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So, when you conceptualize self-love, you can try to imagine what you would do for yourself, how youd talk to yourself, and how youd feel about yourself that reflects love and concern.

When you love yourself, you have an overall positive view of yourself. This doesnt mean you feel positive about yourself all the time. That would be unrealistic! For example, I can temporarily feel upset, angry, or disappointed with myself and still love myself. If this is confusing, think about how this works in other relationships. I can love my son even though I sometimes feel angry or disappointed with him. Even in the midst of my anger and disappointment, my love for him informs how I relate to him. It allows me to forgive him, consider his feelings, meet his needs, and make decisions that will support his wellbeing. Self-love is very much the same. Which means, if you know how to love others, you know how to love yourself!

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.” - Abraham Lincoln

What does self-love look like?

The following are examples of what self-love can look like in action.

Saying positive things to yourself
Forgiving yourself when you mess up
Meeting your own needs
Being assertive
Not letting others take advantage of or abuse you
Prioritizing your health and wellbeing
Spending time around people who support you and build you up (and avoiding people who dont)
Asking for help
Letting go of grudges or anger that holds you back
Recognizing your strengths
Valuing your feelings
Making healthy choices most of the time
Living in accordance with your values
Pursuing your interests and goals
Challenging yourself
Holding yourself accountable
Giving yourself healthy treats
Accepting your imperfections
Setting realistic expectations
Noticing your progress and effort