Mental and Emotional Self-Mastery
Tools for Self-Realisation
Who is the Master? You think you have mastery over the mind, but the mind is a trickster. If you focus only on the mind you will come unstuck. When you go beyond the mind – to the heart, you find that the mind has no choice but to follow you into the silence. Thought cannot erase thought. But, within the silence, Truth is revealed.
Emotions arise because the mind cannot let go. The mind will never let go as long as you believe that the emotion is real. Therefore, take each step. First by recognising that attachment breeds suffering. When the mind attaches itself to an emotion, or to an external object, person or situation, then the lack of that external aspect (that you have attached yourself to) will cause suffering. But to detach the mind is fruitless.
To overcome attachment and suffering you must realise who it is that suffers. It is not the essential you that suffers, but the one who is attached. Who is that one who is attached? It is mind. When the attachment falls away, and this process must be a gentle letting go, not a forceful wrench, the mind ceases to be a problem. This is because the One who is now unattached lives beyond the mind.
Emotion is subsumed in devotion – Love. But it is not devotion to anything external. It is devotion that arises spontaneously in the heart as Pure Love. Love that asks nothing of you. Love that has no seeking or finding. Love that is not tainted by desire of any kind – tamasic, rajasic or sattvic. It is simply as it is. This is true devotion, which subsumes the emotion.
I bless that you come to live in that Love eternally. That is My wish for you. - Sundareshwar
Mental and emotional self-mastery are essential attributes
Instability of the mind and emotions is simply another challenge to be overcome in the process of knowing and experiencing the Self. Developing mastery over the mental and emotional aspects is emphasised on the path of Self-knowledge – jnana.
The mind is recognised as being responsible for either bondage to the objects of the world (if it identifies with the senses), or alternatively, to realisation of the Self. The mind’s attitude determines whether life’s events are viewed as positive or negative, and this attitude subsequently influences happiness levels. Early in the journey to Self-Realisation, we may attempt to free the mind of unwanted and undesirable thoughts and emotions and develop the calm and steady mind necessary for seeing life (and ourselves) without any distortions.
Often, we have been able to intellectually analyse and understand situations without either suppressing or avoiding feelings or performing actions arising from them. Objectivity enables us to identify the causes of thoughts or aroused emotions and take responsibility for not allowing these causes to affect our stability. It is evident that, when we are upset or disturbed, identification with the mind and the ego causes us to become emotional, and to fluctuate between happiness and depression.
Participants in the study (cited in the March edition of Prema Jyothi) stated the following:
“In case by habit sometimes an emotion comes up, I don’t blame anybody. I know that I have a little more contemplation to do. I don’t say that fellow is making me angry, I know he isn’t. He is telling me something, my reaction makes me angry. I have to fix my reaction, not the other person’s speech. So, I take the response on to myself and continuously work on myself automatically, because I know fixing other people doesn’t solve the problem.”
“When I’m depressed, when I’m sad, when I am angry, when I am unloving, I know these are all robbers. I go inside and clean up the mess that is in the basement or attic, releasing my mental emotional issues and negativity.”
“Whenever I have difficulties, it is my mind which is disturbed. ‘Me’ is always there, ‘me’ is never disturbed; it is outside people, outside world, outside things that disturb the mind, but not ‘me’. It is only the mind that is suffering.”
Thus, an important aspect in the process of Self-realisation is developing emotional intelligence and becoming emotionally stable. We can achieve this by developing the ability to observe our own reactivity and identify the underlying cause – desire and attachment. States of judgement, anger, fear and jealousy can be overcome. We can become increasingly established in the Self, with the mind no longer swayed by emotion. Participants in the study observed:
“When reality goes in, the evolving world has clearly got nothing to do with my happiness. It is instrumental, but it is not the cause of anything, nor is it cause for any complaints.”
“As understanding of reality deepens, greater objectivity comes about, and as a result there is less reactivity to the ups and downs of life.”
“I'm very happy; sometimes I get irritated or tired or something, but it’s in the body or the mind not anywhere else.”
“I am not ruffled by anything. If someone comes and says something bad about me, I am not bothered, I don’t get angry.”
“I have become like the ocean – the waves come and go, but the ocean is peaceful.”
-Savitri
Surrender as mastery.
The One cannot be known by effort and striving. No amount of prayer, meditation or selfless service can bring us to the One. Only surrender is required. But what does it mean to surrender? Does it mean to give away everything including our sense of self?
No, it simply means to open ourselves to the larger, infinite understanding of who we are. It is not a matter of knowing; it is not a matter of doing; it is a matter of being that One that we are – Love. When the mind takes us down diverse and devious pathways, we simply remember that we are Love. All else then, automatically is placed at the feet of the One that we are – the blessed Divinity that resides in our hearts but is also to be found everywhere.
How can surrender be considered mastery? Simply this. Mastery is not acquiring anything. In fact, mastery is more about what we give than what we gain. We let go of what is unimportant, what impedes us from knowing who we really are. Mastery is recognising the truth and living in that truth constantly. Truth arises from within us. External truth is not the unchanging truth. All the great masters conveyed this message. Buddha saw the signs – an old person, a sick person and a dead person, as being indicators of the temporary nature of this human life. He then saw a realised person, and came to understand that there was a possibility of a state beyond suffering. From that point on He began to detach himself from the world he had known, a world of luxury and pleasure, in search for the secret of true happiness. After many trials, he found that, in pure surrender to the Self, happiness spontaneously arose within him.
Surrender is not a negative giving over, but a positive affirmation that, if we are everything, then all that happens arises from the Truth, and nothing else.
A potent example of surrender as self-mastery
Connection with the Self grants resilience in our lives, as well as mental and emotional self-mastery. With this connection to the depths of our own being, we gain the ability to be truly joyful, grateful and optimistic, in spite of our circumstances. When Savitri went to visit a Swami in Rishikesh, he was gazing at the wreckage of his Ashram, most of which had just been swept away, along with his cows, when the Ganges River had flooded two days previously. She was greeted with a smile and this simple Vedic chant:
“Purnamadah Purnamidam Purnaat Purnamudachyate
Purnasya Purnaamadaya Purnameva Vashishyate.”
This is complete and whole.
That is complete and whole.
Everything is complete and whole.
When wholeness is removed from wholeness, wholeness remains.
When wholeness is added to wholeness, wholeness remains.
Wholeness is, in fact, all there is.
I am complete. I am whole. I am perfect.
I was always complete.
There is nothing in me other than completion, wholeness and perfection.
-Satyavan
What is true mastery?
“Seek not mastery over the outer world seek to contact within – your very Self. When you realise your oneness with that Master, you will no longer separate out the various aspects of manifestation that make up the human organism. Your mind, body, senses and emotions will all come into perfect alignment. The outer and the inner will be as One Divine Flow, full of the Love that you are.
Humanity must come to know, to realise this Truth – that all is really consciousness, and there is nothing outside. When this Truth is realised, then there is nothing left to strive for. Why seek mastery over the external when you are already the eternal?” -inner message Sathya Sai Baba
The ground
Of being bright,
Ever radiant
Within and without
Has no words
But, within the space
All power presides -
The silent Master.
– Satyavan
“Mastery is usually defined as be highly skilled or proficient in one or more areas of life. Self-Mastery takes this to its highest level. To be the Master of your own Self is to fully understand who you really are. It is a discovery of the Guru within, the inner guiding Light. It means taking full responsibility for your own life. Mastery in this sense doesn’t mean to control in a negative way; it’s the realization that you are the Universe, and that you and everything around you flows harmoniously together in the magnificent dance of your own creation.”
Deepak Chopra and Roger Gabriel, 4 steps to self-mastery, https://chopra.com/articles/4-steps-to-self-mastery
The above quote succinctly places mastery as no external process, but an internal process. What happens to us externally is simply what is happening. The master is not driven to respond to external circumstances, but always places her/himself in a state of peace within the spiritual heart. WE develop this ability over time, through constant practice. External circumstances often seem dire or exciting, but inside we are always in a state of equanimity.
How do we practice this? Chopra and Gabriel suggest 4 steps:
Awareness – remain aware in the now and let the future take care of itself. If we are ever coming back to the now within, we find that we are always in a state of pure awareness. The mind has nothing to grasp on to, or to conjure up potential future scenarios. Meditation is suggested as the practice that will develop this awareness state.
Discernment/Choice – where we develop an ability to see beyond the apparent to the real, we make a choice to remain with the real, to consider that our inner reality has greater power than the outward circumstance. In other words, we choose to regard the inner reality as the arbiter of our lives, and let the outer seeming reality have much less sway.
Conscious decision making, and action that arises from this – courage is required for this step. Often we have to make decisions that are difficult, and may not be in the so-called ‘best interests’ of those around us. Do we have the courage to stand by what we know is the right thing to do? It is not that it may feel right for a nother person, but the action comes form a deep place within ourselves. It is a almost as if we have no choice! Others may carp and criticise. Others may oppose us, sometimes vigorously, but we are firm in our conviction. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna:
sukha-duḥkhe same kṛitvā lābhālābhau jayājayau
tato yuddhāya yujyasva naivaṁ pāpam avāpsyasi
Fight for the sake of duty, treating alike happiness and distress, loss and gain, victory and defeat. Fulfilling your responsibility in this way, you will never incur sin.
Realisation leading to Manifestation – we come to a place where we simply know. There is no need for conscious thought anymore, for it is simply a deep knowing. This may or may not lead to action, but it is always a place of supreme happiness. The only experience is that of consciousness, which is simply Love.
Satyavan